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Adele Elliott: Wedding bell blues


Adele Elliott



It''s been a wild week for weddings. The Prince William and Kate Middleton nuptials were the big news. I was a bit dismayed that my invitation somehow did not catch up with me. Wrong address, I suppose. 


As it turns out, Chris and I would have had to disappoint the royal couple anyway. We were already planning to attend the Jeanie Rushing-Robert Miller wedding in Starkville. It would have been a bit difficult to make it back across the pond in just one day. That jet-lag thing is horrible. 


I was, however, surprised at the number of other people whose invites were "lost in the mail," so to speak. Alright, they, too, were left off the invitation list for that soiree in England. Our President and First Lady were snubbed. No matter that America has been a loyal ally to Great Britain through many wars. (Well, many wars after that Revolutionary incident. But, it''s all in the past.) Barak Obama is considered the "Leader of the Free World." Surely, he should rate higher than deli owners from Kate''s hometown. 


Elton John would have been in my gray area of inclusion. But, Sarah Ferguson? Pleeease, she should have trumped him if only because she is the mother of Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, who are very distantly in line for the throne. Looks like even England''s heir apparent and his bride are a bit dazzled by celebrity. 


I did not miss rubbing shoulders with the likes of Guy Ritchie or Joss Stone. As to David Beckham and his sour-faced spouse "Posh Spice," who needs them? In attendance in Starkville were the very-famous Mother Goose and many cheerful guests who had traveled from as far as Phoenix, Ariz., Seattle, Wash., and Jackson (Mississippi, that is). 


Sir Elton may plan to pay homage to the royal couple with a song inspired by the occasion. However, there is the possibility that it will sound suspiciously like "Candle in the Wind," or "Goodbye, England''s Rose." My guess is that Mother Goose might later compose a few stanzas in honor of Miss Rushing and Mr. Miller. Now those will be really upbeat, and original, too! Maybe her lyrics could mention that the groom''s father was both best man and officiant at the ceremony. 


Their Royal Highnesses have so many tributes coming their way. There is a fragrance named after them (unisex, presumably), and a $10 gold coin. I wonder how they feel about the man who had their "portraits" tattooed onto his front teeth? 


Unfortunately, the likenesses were poor, appearing more cartoonish than regal. Thankfully, unlike the usual "skin art," these "dental tattoos" only last a few months. I hope the newly-embellished British plumber likes his tooth-art better than I do. It cost almost $1,500! 


Truthfully, I adore weddings -- other people''s, that is. In a time when no one really has to get married, the act shows not only love, but an abiding faith in the future. 


The wedding guests are superfluous. The only ones who are actually important are the couple at the front of the church. 


I send my best wishes to all the brides and grooms of the season; those I know, those I have never met, and even those who did not invite me to the reception. May you have a life filled with happiness and may all your gifts be, if not appropriate, then not as embarrassing as a tattoo on a stranger.


Adele Elliott, a New Orleans native, moved to Columbus after Hurricane Katrina.


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