A few winters ago, we were walking into our favorite Burberry store in Washington, D.C., and a jolly man with a raspy voice exclaimed, “Welcome to Burberry, gentlemen” as we glided through the revolving doors. I marveled. Mississippi is famous for Southern charm, hospitality and sweetness as pure as sugar cane, but I was taken aback by such good manners so far from home.
The exchange of pleasantries sometimes feels lacking in fervor, even sincerity. How many times has someone said, “How are you today?” and walked away before you could even answer? Sometimes it’s more about manners than anything else, and maybe that’s OK. Daddy would always open the car door for Mama, whether it was the early years or latter days, dusty old pickup truck or that Jaguar he promised. It didn’t stop there either; he drilled into our daily lives that thank you, excuse me and other niceties were expected of his boys. Perhaps I have been engrossed in too much “Downton Abbey” with their Edwardian traditions, but I appreciate a child who still says, “Yes, sir,” or “Yes, ma’am.”
White ties at dinner might be a bit pretentious in 2015 unless the Dowager Duchess herself is calling. Ladies rarely take a turn around the gardens in white gloves anymore, but can’t we cling to some of yesterday’s elegance and eloquence? I’m reminded of a recent night out at an eatery where, to be honest, everything was less than adequate with the exception of the cocktails and the assistant waiter. “Would it be presumptuous of me to bring out a second bottle of water, gentlemen?” Through all the courses of dinner, he was impeccably well mannered and simply charming. When we complimented his service, he smiled and said, “My mother will be so pleased when I tell her, sirs.”
Then I think of that lovely lady who greets me with an infectious smile upon entering the garden center at the local Walmart. With an unwavering positive attitude, regardless of the long line of irritated shoppers, she wins me over with her genuine interest in service, making eye contact, sometimes even giddy — when I know her feet must be tired after a long shift. I hope she has children, lots of them, and teaches by example.
I love the phrase you may have heard at a national chain fast food restaurant lately: “It has been my joy to serve you.” True or not, at least they are making the effort, and I say why don’t we all make their mantra our self-fulfilling prophecy? What if we all work extra hard to make it our joy to serve? And the next time we say, “How are you today,” what if we hang around long enough to hear, really hear, the answer?
Emily Post might be so last century, but politeness never goes out of fashion.
The Dispatch Editorial Board is made up of publisher Peter Imes, columnist Slim Smith, managing editor Zack Plair and senior newsroom staff.
You can help your community
Quality, in-depth journalism is essential to a healthy community. The Dispatch brings you the most complete reporting and insightful commentary in the Golden Triangle, but we need your help to continue our efforts. In the past week, our reporters have posted 36 articles to cdispatch.com. Please consider subscribing to our website for only $2.30 per week to help support local journalism and our community.