“Deprivation is one of the most effective, although unenjoyable, cures for the hedonic treadmill.”
–Gretchen Rubin
I’ve discovered that in certain situations I have a tendency to hedge on the truth, and I hate that. I signed up for the Lifeline medical testing held at the Presbyterian church on Bluecutt Road in Columbus. The first thing I had to do was fill out a questionnaire with all those “have you or anyone in your family ever had … ” questions.
I confidently flew through the list marking all the “no” circles until I got to “Have you ever been told you have high cholesterol?”
The question caused me pause, so I decided to come back to it later. The unfortunate part was it was not a discussion question; they wanted a “yes” or “no,” and I wanted to explain, “But my good cholesterol is very high” or ask, “How high is high?” I wanted an “A” on the test. I wanted to explain, but I didn’t get to; so I reluctantly marked “yes.”
Also, I’ve found myself wanting to hedge on my resolution not to buy any wearing apparel for a whole year. I looked up synonyms for “resolution” wondering what is a resolution, anyway?
Synonyms include resolve, intention, decision, intent, aim, commitment, to pledge, to promise. I found some wiggle room. Was my resolution something I was aiming for? Could it be a good intention? Could I fail slightly and still get an “A”?
Two books I’ve been reading have helped me with this conundrum, Gretchen Rubin’s “The Happiness Project,” and “Not Buying It,” by Judith Levine.
Judith tended to berate herself and leaned toward “Possession affords a flicker of warmth, which almost inevitably cools. Then we want something else, something different, better, something less attainable. The more pressing that desire, the harder it is to distinguish from need.”
Judith seemed unhappy for a whole year. I didn’t want to be unhappy, far from it, I wanted to be at the top of my happiness range.
Gretchen, on the other hand, set up cumulative goals culminating in a year’s worth of resolutions. Some goals she made, some she didn’t, and some she changed. Along the way she made adjustments — like the pedometer she wore to remind herself to exercise.
“The pedometer had served its purpose of helping me to evaluate and improve my walking habits, and it was time to put it into retirement.”
Gretchen’s resolutions were more about moving up the “happiness” scale, whatever that looked like. By becoming a happier person, she became less egotistical and less perfection driven.
I haven’t decided whether to continue my resolution or not, but through thoughtfulness and these books, I have made some significant discoveries and those I will continue, maybe forever.
Hedging is unnecessary because it’s OK not to be perfect — no grades.
Indulging in a modest, occasional splurge could bring a lot of happiness.
Orderly space is good, and decluttering works.
If you’re not wearing it, alter it or give it away.
Once you’ve mastered a concept, move on; if something’s not working, change it.
If you make someone else happy, it can make you happy and vice versa.
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