Within days of winning the election, President Obama announced that his victory gave him a mandate to raise taxes on the "rich."
Earthquakes may strike, dynasties may fall and locusts may devour the crops, but Oldsmobile and Pan Am are forever. Never mind.
Among the things for which Americans can be thankful on this weekend devoted to such is Washington's resolve to temper severity with mercy: It will seriously -- this time we really mean business; we are not going to be Greece, or worse, Illinois -- restrain spending but will not balance the budget on the backs of popcorn eaters.
Forgive me, Bobo, but I do not believe in Bigfoot. Nevertheless, it was a delight spending a Saturday afternoon with you -- the sasquatch hunter from Animal Planet's "Finding Bigfoot" -- in, of all places, a midtown Manhattan bar.
He had lost a son many years before, the boy barely more than a toddler when he died. Now another son was dead and grief sat on him like the shawl that draped his shoulders as he rattled around the big, cold house.
Like many people, I have a tendency to spend more time thinking about what's wrong than what's right, what's missing rather than what is there, what I don't have instead of what I do.
It was maybe 20 years ago when I got a call from a woman I did not know. She had purchased the house of my recently deceased grandmother, Lyda Will Wyatt Emmerich.
There can be unseemly exposure of the mind as well as of the body, as the progressive mind is exposed in the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB), a creature of the labyrinthine Dodd-Frank legislation. Judicial dismantling of the CFPB would affirm the rule of law and Congress's constitutional role.
America, you are an idiot. You are a moocher, a zombie, soulless, mouth-breathing, ignorant, greedy, self-indulgent, envious, shallow and lazy.
I love the catalog covers with yellow dogs marching through the woods with their Marlboro Man owners, a Christmas tree in tow.
Something very wrong has just gone down. It's played out so much like a soap opera, for those following the twists and turns of who sent whom a shirtless photo, but at its core, it is very simple.
You remember Malala Yousafzai, of course. She is the Pakistani girl from the conservative Swat Valley region of that country who came to international attention as a blogger and activist for the right of girls and women to be educated.
The tea party now has its own news site. Based at the Venetian Resort in Las Vegas, the Tea Party News Network describes itself as "the only trusted news source."
It is tempting, oh so tempting, to unleash the snark as the script unfolds: Real Housewives of Tampa. Or is it Real Generals of Kabul?
Conservatives should jauntily sing as Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers did in a year when the country's chin was on the ground. Conservatives are hardly starting from scratch in their continuing courtship of the electorate, half of which embraced their message more warmly than it did this year's messenger.
Now that the election is over, and President Obama has returned to Washington to try to turn all the rhetoric about working together into something real, Republicans and talking heads (especially the conservative ones whose predictions seemed to be based entirely on wishful thinking and perhaps the desire for some last-minute fundraising) are obsessing about how Mitt Romney managed to lose this election.
Americans wanted to keep the country they know, and said so Tuesday. Now it's time for responsible Republicans to take their party back from the fringe that loses them elections.
We live in time of instant communication. But that doesn't mean all communication is instant. Some of us -- columnists, specifically -- must meet advance deadlines, meaning hours and often days pass before anyone reads what we write.
I'm sitting here in the bright sunshine in Pompeii. At any minute, the Earth could shake, and my city would look no better, and possibly worse, than New York.
Energetic in body but indolent in mind, Barack Obama in his frenetic campaigning for a second term is promising to replicate his first term, although simply apologizing would be appropriate.
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