A Stone's throw: Platitudes

November 3, 2012 8:31:13 PM

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Well, we vote Tuesday. I cannot recall when I have felt more scared of an election. I hope this country votes wisely, because we are at such a low economic state. This country, like others, needs some relief from its problems and burdens. 

 

I sometimes wonder why anyone would want the job of United States President. It's got to be tough. All of us have advice, however. I thought I might just review some of the things we think and hear. 

 

About the economy: There ain't no free lunch. He who pays the piper calls the tune. Waste not, want not. Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without. See a penny, let it lie; need a penny 'fore you die. A stitch in time saves nine. A fool and his money are soon parted. (Or, there's a corollary for that one: A fool and his money are soon partying.) 

 

Give a man a fish, and he has a meal; teach him to fish, and he has a livelihood. No work, no food. You cannot beat Santa Claus in an election. Make a person dependent on you, and you have him as a slave. Do not lend money to a friend; he will no longer be a friend. 

 

How do you catch a pig? Feed him regularly in the same place. Soon he will stay there long enough for you to fence him in.  

 

Maybe you are lucky, but you have probably noticed that the harder you work, the luckier you get. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. 

 

Most problems boil down to one; a parent has three walnuts to give away, but only two children. 

 

The scariest: Democracy has within it the seeds of its own destruction. 

 

On security: Walk softly, but carry a big stick. Let the camel get his head in the tent, and he will soon fill the whole thing. Don't fire 'til you see the whites of their eyes. People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. War is hell. 

 

Animals will attack the weak; it is called the pecking order. Bullies are not stopped by buckling under. There are more ways than one to skin a cat. 

 

There was an Indian who picked up a rattlesnake which promptly bit him. "Why did you do that? I did not hurt you," said the dying Indian. The snake answered, "You knew I was a rattlesnake when you picked me up." 

 

Whom the gods would destroy, they first make angry.  

 

Good fences make good friends. (Sometimes.) Do not trust a spy. 

 

General observations: Genes will tell, but as the twig is bent, so is the tree inclined. Methink the lady doth protest too much. Do not trust a Christian who keeps telling you how Christian he is; let him show you. Follow the money. 

 

Whom do you like better? The person who comes into a room and announces, "Here I am!" or the person who says, "There you are!"  

 

If your fields are greener, folks will hear about it; you don't have to shout it. The other side of the argument? He who tooteth not his own horn, the same remaineth in a state of untootedness. (But do you like him?) The sweetest sound to a person is the sound of his own name. 

 

It is better to have many enemies than one ex-friend. Happiness is a perfume; you cannot spray it on someone else without getting a little on yourself. Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone; for the brave old earth must borrow its mirth, but has trouble enough of its own. 

 

Now, then, enough of that. I have flagrantly plagiarized many people, sometimes not even knowing whom to credit. We need more wisdom than we can express in platitudes. I am not a political columnist, but I do not need to be one in order to express my most sincere thought: "God help us!"