And what will you say afterward, America?
Baloney is not free.
That's important to keep in mind in an era that finds America wading hip deep in a cascading tide of bovine effluvium.
With pre-emptive apologies to grammarians everywhere, today we ponder the following question:
Who is "we?"
It felt, with apologies to Yogi Berra, like "deja vu all over again."
Originally, this was going to be a column about Sydney Aiello. She was 19 years old, a graduate of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High in Parkland, Florida, and she was buried Friday after committing suicide.
People always seem surprised in moments like this. Always shocked.
So I go to my barber for a shave. While I'm waiting for her to finish the man ahead of me, this other guy and I get to talking about Donald Trump. He's no more a fan of the boy president than I am, and pretty soon, we've got the whole shop laughing as we rip Trump's idiocy.
There's an old song that always comes to mind at times like this.
A few words about the Trail of Tears and other jokes.
Granted, the Trail of Tears would hardly seem a laughing matter.
The most dangerous place for black people to live is in white people's imagination.
Next time, they should redistribute the pain.
Our topic for today: three stories and a letter.
The stories all made recent headlines. The first was about the state of Florida posthumously pardoning the Groveland Four, a group of African-American men who suffered torture, prison and murder after being falsely accused of raping a white woman in 1949.
This is a column about some black people.
Not all, thank goodness. Not even most.
As a general rule, I don't curse a lot.
Should Donald Trump be impeached?
That he will be seems likely as Democrats take control of the House of Representatives, the chamber where impeachment proceedings begin. That he deserves to be is similarly self-evident.
On the last night of the Republican National Convention in 1988, the candidate sought to impart to the country a vision of the America it could be.
I said it before, I'll say it again.
"As this country becomes blacker, browner, gayer, younger, more Hispanic and more Muslim, it is increasingly the case that the GOP cannot win if all voters vote."
No one even knows how many girls there were.
The United States is composed of 329 million people spread over 3.8 million square miles. In population and landmass, it's a pretty big place.
So now Michelle Obama finally tells her truth.
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