“To thine own self be true/And it must follow, as the night the day/Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
William Shakespeare
The first third of the quotation above is one of the most famous lines Shakespeare ever penned, while the last third is largely unknown, forgotten, or purposely ignored in a sound bite society.
“To thine own self be true” has been invoked by more than a few folks with questionable motives to justify acting in their own self-interest with little concern for others, not such a noble impulse. The same words have inspired individuals, maybe even whole societies, to understand their own self-worth and refuse to be oppressed by those in power, a purer motivation.
Still, when we fail to unite the beginning of his lesson with its culmination, we miss the point. Shakespeare is telling us that the most important reason to be true to ourselves is that in doing so lies the only sure path to being true to others. In short, the only way I can be true to you is by first being true to me.
My daddy thought it would be a great thing for me to be a pharmacist. I thought it would be better to be an English professor, if I tell the truth because to a naive college student that meant wearing stylish cardigan sweaters, listening to Beethoven and drinking Chardonnay out of long-stemmed glasses. Plus, I liked to write even then.
I could not be true both to Daddy and to myself because I struggled with math and science courses in college and had a slightly longer attention span than Dory from “Finding Nemo.” New things happening quickly interested me, not long-term focus on a single goal. Ultimately in being true to myself, I also realized that I didn’t have the patience for the graduate programs which led to poetry readings and dinners at the dean’s home.
Along the way, I have occasionally been false to myself. I have pretended to be less than I am, occasionally even more than I am. I have sometimes judged myself by the standards others imposed on me, but most of the time I have managed to be true to the most important people in my life by realizing that first I had to be true to me, the best parts and the less admirable bits as well.
And here is what I have learned. It’s not selfish in the long run to advocate for that quiet voice inside, the one that battles pleasing everyone else versus pleasing yourself. Sure, there are times when Grandma’s short-term needs or a selfless detour to help someone less fortunate should win out, but the only path I have found to my ultimate truth — to not being false to anyone — leads directly through the valley of my most authentic self.
Email reaches former Columbus resident David Creel at [email protected].
The Dispatch Editorial Board is made up of publisher Peter Imes, columnist Slim Smith, managing editor Zack Plair and senior newsroom staff.
You can help your community
Quality, in-depth journalism is essential to a healthy community. The Dispatch brings you the most complete reporting and insightful commentary in the Golden Triangle, but we need your help to continue our efforts. In the past week, our reporters have posted 41 articles to cdispatch.com. Please consider subscribing to our website for only $2.30 per week to help support local journalism and our community.