STARKVILLE — What do you call a family like the Sullivans?
How would you describe a family whose challenges include not one, but two children with special needs?
What word describes a middle-class family where both parents work, but medical bills and related expenses always seem to suck up every extra penny?
How would you describe a family of five who find that their modest Starkville home is ill-equipped for the kind of handicap-access required by their youngest daughter, who is just 8 years old?
Is there a word that captures this family’s situation this Christmas?
Mike Sullivan, husband and father of three, has such a word.
“Blessed,” he says. “We are blessed.”
A story of faith
Mike and Kelly Sullivan have three children: Jenna, 11; Mary Margaret, 8; and Michael, 6.
Mike works at Mississippi State University’s Institute of Clean Energy Technology. Kelly is an elementary school teacher. They live in a well-kept middle-class neighborhood about a stone’s throw from the Walmart on Highway 12 in Starkville and attend Pinelake Baptist Church.
They’re an average family in many respects. That is the way Mike and Kelly see it.
But in other respects, they are truly remarkable.
This is a story of many things, but mostly it is a story of faith, an unapologetic, exuberant celebration of Christianity in a family where new challenges are met with something akin to excitement to see “what God will do next,” as Mike puts it.
Those challenges first emerged when little Jenna was 3 years old and began to complain of pain in her left eye.
The Sullivans took their daughter to an eye doctor, where she was diagnosed with a benign tumor. Removing the tumor presented risks, the doctors said, and since the tumor was unlikely to grow and cause any more damage, it was best not to operate.
At the time, Kelly was pregnant with Mary Margaret.
Prenatal exams showed some very serious complications. When Mary Margaret arrived on June 9, 1996, those fears were confirmed — and then some.
Mary Margaret “came out fighting for her life,” Mike says. She has almost died six times and spent long stretches in hospitals in three states. She is blind, confined to a wheelchair, unable to speak more than a few years, and that only after years of therapy. Her health remains delicate, Mike says, and her medical needs put the family in a severe financial state.
As for Jenna, the doctors were wrong.
“As it turned out, the tumor did cause more problems,” Mike says. “We noticed that her left eye, which was blue, was turning green and that her pupil was extremely dilated and not centered. We took her to the eye doctor and discovered that blood vessels growing off of the tumor had done more major damage to her eye. Her retina was totally detached and her eye was under extreme pressure.”
Doctors have told the Sullivans removing the eye would mean the end of the pain and the costly eye drops ($90 for a small bottle) necessary to relieve the pain. Since the eye is permanently blinded, there is a good argument for that.
But Mike says it is Jenna’s decision to make alone.
“It’s her eye, her choice,” he says.
So there they were, with two daughters both of whom had serious, costly medical conditions. When Mary Margaret was not yet 2 years old, Kelly learned she was pregnant again.
The Sullivans were delighted.
“We weren’t worried abut Michael at all,” Mike says. “We know that God is in control and he doesn’t make any mistakes. Jenna and Mary Margaret were his perfect creations and we knew that Michael would be, too.”
Michael is a perfectly healthy child, Mike says.
A story of inspiration
Despite the serious medical conditions of Jenna and Mary Margaret, there was one thing almost everyone who knew the Sullivans agreed on: They were happy, ridiculously happy.
In April 2012, Make-A-Wish of Mississippi presented the Sullivans with a large spa and deck. Funded by the Chi Omega sorority at MSU, the Sullivans said the spa would allow Mary Margaret to strengthen her atrophied arm and leg muscles.
Naturally, the Sullivans used the occasion to throw a party for all those involved in the project. One of the guests that Saturday afternoon was 20-year-old Jasmine Murray.
At the time, Murray was a student at MSU, two years removed from her appearance as a contestant on American Idol.
Jenna and Mary Margaret, especially, loved to hear Jasmine sing, not from watching the TV Show but from hearing her sing at church, where Jasmine was a member of the Worship Team.
At the party, Murray sang several songs, including “In You,” “Make You Feel My Love,” “Beautiful” and “His Eye is on the Sparrow.”
“When the family approached me and asked me if I would sing, I wasn’t just happy to do it — I was honored,” Murray said that afternoon. “She’s such a precious, beautiful little girl.”
Mike Sullivan described the event as you might suspect.
“We are blessed,” he said.
A story of community
The Sullivan’s home features three bedrooms, “with medical equipment in every room of the house,” Michael says.
The growing girls shared one small bedroom in a house that was not designed for handicap access.
An additional bedroom with a handicap accessible bathroom would ease the burden for the entire family. One problem: The Sullivans were barely making ends meet as it was. There was simply not enough money to even think about adding on to the house.
Maybe, Mike thought, some of their friends might be willing to help raise some money for the addition, so he started a fund-raising account on the crowd-sourcing site “gofundme.com.”
“At first, we thought we would need about $25,000,” Mike says. “But as we made the plans, we realized it would cost more than $40,000. We hoped maybe we could raise the money in two years.”
On Oct. 11, four months short of that two-year goal, the account had reached $42,300.
“We’re 100 percent funded and 90 percent complete,” was the jubilant post Mike made on his Facebook page.
Indeed, his friends did respond.
But so did strangers, too.
“People from all over the Golden Triangle helped,” Mike says. “We had contractors from Columbus, West Point, Louisville, here in Starkville, all donating materials and labor. Most of these people, we had never met, but those contractors allowed us to start working on the project right away instead of waiting to have all the money.”
While the Sullivans were planning for their addition, Murray was going through some exciting experiences, too.
In June, on her third attempt, the 22-year-old was crowned Miss Mississippi. In September, she was among the top 10 finalists in the Miss America pageant.
Her biggest fans, Jenna and Mary Margaret, were watching.
“Yeah, we’ve definitely kept in touch,” Murray said. “I’ve been out of town a lot, but I definitely watch their Facebook page all the time. After all they’ve been dealing with, this is so wonderful to see the support from the community.”
While the Sullivan girls look up to Murray, she has found that the role is really somewhat reversed.
Jenna and Mary Margaret are the real heroes, she says.
“It’s just an awesome thing to know them even before I was Miss Mississippi,” she says. “It’s been a blessing to me to know them. To hear their testimony, to hear all they have gone through…they have such positive attitude about life. They are encouraging to me. They inspire me.”
A story of gratitude
As of this week, all that remains is to finish some painting, install some light fixtures and take care of a few other minor details, Mike says.
“We’re close,” he says. “I’d say it will be completely finished around the first of the year.”
The new addition will certainly make life more manageable for the Sullivans. But Mike understands new challenges will emerge, that the financial burdens are probably something they’ll never escape.
“One of the first things you find out when you have a child with special needs is that everything, every piece of medical equipment, is so expensive,” he says in a tone that betrays no hint of discouragement.
Undoubtedly, there will be a need for new equipment. Both girls will need surgeries or continuing treatment, therapy and medications.
All of that rests easy on Mike Sullivan’s mind, though.
“God will provide,” he says. “He always has.”
As Christmas approaches, Mike Sullivan’s sees the challenges in a different light.
“You know, I’ve heard stories about people, when they are on their deathbeds, saying they wish they had spent more time with their families,” he says. “Sometimes I think God created these circumstances to bless us in that area. We don’t have money to go on vacation, Disneyworld, the types of things families do to be together.
“In our situation, we’re together all the time. We don’t take it for granted.”
Sullivan knows some people may not understand that attitude.
“When we tell others about our daughters’ medical issues, most of the time the response we get from people is, ‘I had no idea your family had these problems’ or ‘I’m so sorry to hear that.’
“Our response has always been that it’s not a problem because God has always been in control. We tell folks, ‘Don’t feel sorry for us. God has blessed us with circumstances in our lives that draw us closer to Him.'”
He hopes, too, that others will draw encouragement from the blessings they have received.
“It’s not like God loves us better than other people,” Mike says. “We are an example.”
Through it all, that one word that says such much more, emerges yet again.
“Blessed,” he says.
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
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