Now that youth league baseball and softball have started, an old, predictable debate again emerges about the purpose of youth sports and what it says about modern society.
In recent years, there has been some effort to make youth sports more inclusive, less stressful and move the focus from the grim struggle of winning and losing to ensuring that our kids have fun and enjoy sports and improve their skills, regardless of their ability or the outcome.
Inevitably, this notion sets some folks’ hair on fire. When youth leagues don’t “keep score” or make sure all players get to play the same amount or hand out participation ribbons or medals to all players, rest assured there will be howling. Usually, I can dismiss these adult detractors as frustrated athletes or those for whom youth sports is a means of re-living their own “glory days” vicariously through a bunch of little kids for whom showing up at the ball field with their pants zipped is a notable achievement.
Sadly, a lot of these people aren’t just the ballpark bickerers who see any deviation from how sports were played in their childhood as some great indictment of modern society. A lot of them are coaches, which means they are allowed to put their opinions into action, much to detriment of the kids in many cases.
Fortunately, most league officials understand that these complaints are little more than noise and remain committed to the larger, more noble, purpose. Kudos to them, for they surely catch hell for it.
But this week, another voice joined the grumpy chorus. Pittsburgh Steeler running back DeAngelo Williams said during an interview that he returned the participation ribbon his young daughter had received during a track meet. She had finished fifth in a race in which first, second and third prizes were awarded. All the other kids received participation ribbons, something Williams objected to although his daughter was delighted with the ribbon, he said. Williams said he felt compelled to explain to his daughter that these track meets were competitive and that she hadn’t “earned” anything and had to return the ribbon. As if to validate his decision, he noted that his daughter later competed in and won a race, thus getting a first-place ribbon that she could be proud of. Williams said the idea that every child should be declared a winner, regardless of their actual performance, was indicative of a “culture of entitlement.”
Predictably, Williams was showered with compliments.
That’s unfortunate because Williams has an aura of credibility that the average Joe doesn’t possess.
When people talk about athletes as role models, Williams is exactly the kind of athlete they have in mind. He has long been known not only for his skills, but for his work ethic, honesty and good sportsmanship. His conduct, on and off the field, has been above reproach. He is a good husband and father and gives generously of his money and time to charity, including youth programs.
Despite all of those qualities, Williams is badly misguided on this subject, for reasons that are understandable.
Even as a small child, Williams was gifted at sports. As he matured, the hard work, good character and discipline he applied to his natural talents helped make him the player he is today. That’s an important message for all aspiring athletes.
Yet he is missing a very important perspective that, I strongly suspect, would alter his view on youth sports.
It is doubtful that Williams has ever looked down toward “the end of the bench” and considered what it’s like to not have the natural talents that he was blessed with. Good athletes never lack for encouragement, support, affirmation.
But what about that 8-year-old for whom sports does not come naturally, the player who doesn’t get into the game or only plays when the outcome has already been decided? Are the efforts that child puts into sports, efforts that — given his/her limitations does not produce “success” as we define it — unworthy of support, encouragement, even praise?
I have seen many young people who have given up on sports at a very early age for lack of support and encouragement. That’s too bad, because even though the majority of kids will never compete at a high level, there is a real value to playing sports, It promotes a healthy lifestyle that can be carried on throughout their lives, allows kids to learn about themselves and others in a social setting and instills in them the importance of working with others, including those who may be “different.”
None of those benefits are measured by a scoreboard, as far as I have been able to determine.
As a former youth coach, I had many, many players for whom success was not a matter of an “attitude of entitlement,” but a deficit of natural athletic ability. For those children, it was not a question of work ethic, commitment or attitude. They did their best… and were often awful anyway.
That didn’t matter much to me, though. I wanted all of “my kids” to feel that their efforts were appreciated and acknowledged. If giving a kid who would otherwise be ignored a ribbon or a trophy is a bad thing, well, there are certainly far worse crimes committed against our children today.
As I have noted before, kids today can have too much of many things, but the one thing they can never have too much of is encouragement.
We would all do well to remember that as the kids play ball this year, especially you coaches and parents out there.
Slim Smith is a columnist and feature writer for The Dispatch. His email address is [email protected].
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